My uncle is sleeping in my room I hate this place even more now I am really depressed
But not as much as my uncle. I heard he tried to kill himself I can see why who would want to live in a world like this?!? It’s really frustrating most of the time. I’ve been working out lately just to make sure I can handle it out there in the world I know it’s going to be tough so I’m making preparations for what’s to come I hope I be accepted
Into the Air Force I really want to be like the hero of my family and make things right.
October 29, 2014 at 3:06 pm
Hello,
There is a clear sense of which character you have selected and you have correctly inferred emotions and tried to illustrate them to your reader. Do you feel the boy wants to be a pilot to ‘make things right’? What other connotations might there be of wanting to reach the sky? Why?
Target:
Always re-read and edit sentence structures. These are really important in establishing your character’s feelings. Where should your full stops go and why?